All of us have experienced hurt feelings, wrongdoing, injustice, or enduring bitterness.
Within you lies the power to change harmful emotional patterns with the process of forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not mean that you approve of what has happened to you. You can forgive the person or situation without forgiving the deed.
You forgive for your own wellbeing because the physical, emotional, spiritual, and cellular effects of negative emotional experiences hurt you.
Forgiveness is one of the most powerful choices you can make to improve your health. It allows one to neutralize the negativity of the past. It is done for your sake, not for the sake of the person who offended you. Remember that ‘forgive’ does not mean ‘approve’.
Decide to Forgive. A poem by Robert Muller
Decide to forgive
For Resentment is negative
Resentment is poisonous
Resentment diminishes and devours the self
Be the first to forgive
To smile and to take the first step
And you will see happiness bloom
On the face of your human brother or sister
Be always the first
Do not wait for others to forgive
For by forgiving
You become the master of fate
The fashioner of life
A doer of miracles
To forgive is the highest,
Most beautiful form of love
In return you will receive
Untold peace and happiness
And here is the program for achieving a truly forgiving heart:
Sunday: Forgive yourself.
Monday: Forgive your family
Tuesday: Forgive your friends and associates
Wednesday: Forgive across economic lines with your own nation
Thursday: Forgive across cultural lines within your own nation
Friday: Forgive across political lines within your own nation
Saturday: Forgive other nations
Only the brave know how to forgive. A coward never forgives; it is not in his or her nature.
The 5 steps of forgiveness
- Forgive self. “I forgive myself for any harm I may have caused myself because of (whomever).”
- I forgive the other person. “I forgive (whomever) for any harm he or she may have caused me.”
- I give the other person permission to forgive me. “I give (whomever) absolute permission to forgive me for any harm I may have caused him or her.”
- Learn the lesson. Nothing ever happens TO us, but always FOR us to learn a lesson. The lesson could be:
- How not to treat another person
- Help others who experienced a similar situation
- Seeing the good in the situation
- Wish (whomever) well. You must mean what you say.
An Alternate version of the 5 steps of forgiveness
- I forgive myself for feeling __________ about this situation
- I allow the other person to forgive me for any part I had in feeling_________
- I forgive the universe for my feeling ___________
- From this situation, I have learned this lesson__________ (phrase in positive)
- And, I am thankful for this experience because of this amazing lesson that it taught me
Adapted from the work of Dr. M.T. Morter Jr. and Dr. Lisa Humfeld